I’m no stranger to heart break
But this one has caught me so off guard. I have never expressed my feelings to this degree, I have never made such incredible gestures, I have never fell this quick or this hard, I have never been this crazy about a single person, I have never prayed that god fix MY problems for me. You will never see this post, and something about that makes me feel better inside even though I’d like for you to see how much of a hold you have on me.
I wake up each morning, think of you and smile. You wake up each morning, thinking of me and feeling bad about our circumstances. I fall asleep each night thinking of you and cry myself into the darkness. You fall asleep each night thinking of me in a hopeful manner.
We are the living definition of “night” and “day”.
But this morning is different. I woke up and cried instead of smiling at the thought of you. What does this mean?
Our situation is not an easy one to work out. However, nothing worth fighting for is ever “easy”. It is never handed over and served on a silver platter. This is the only thing that keeps me here. I refuse to go down a loser in a battle that I have the potential to win. Will I win? Will I ever have you? Who knows? All I know is…
I have never wanted another this bad…
